There may be three lessons on your plane: Good, not bad, and damn ugly. I often flew abroad and had many airlines. I would write business class books, but I would almost always list them before the first grade. I was in heaven. After retiring, I just got another lemon ready to jump out of the window. I was in the hell of an air trip or a tourist class.
I will tell you how I was treated during the first class British Airways flight. Our flight was stopped in Frankfurt, Germany. After a lateness of half an hour, we were allowed to sit, but the pilot announced that land surveillance had forced us to unload the device for another 45 minutes, that we would fly about 30,000 feet.
I told the engineer who was traveling with me. “We intend to release the Concord flight from London to New York.”
A respectable Englishman sitting in front of us said: “Tell the housewife to tell the captain you’re going to read Concord in London.”
I raised my flag and tried to tell him. The gentleman interrupted and said: “Tell the captain that these two gentlemen are going to miss the New York Concorde flight out of London.”
The flight attendant returned and said that there would be a car waiting for us on the plane in London. He also said that there would be a second car for our luggage. The captain came and said that we had now been cleared to sail, and that we would fly 15,000 feet.
Two Squibb gentlemen said they should return to the executive council and could join us. I said goodbye to myself. “Tell the flight attendant …”
We were rushed to the London terminal, handed over the good food that Concord people enjoyed while waiting for their flight, and took our seats. We joined a happy Jewish wedding party and went to New York.
The Concord was a rough, noisy swim, but it passed quickly. The seats were neat but very comfortable. Aside from the wine bottles spinning around the deck, it was a great flight, even the landing of the “crash” that Concord made in New York. That means we hit the runway like a brick.
The first task of reaching your plane is to get to the airport and find a place to get out of the car. If you use the airport parking lot, they will most likely have a bus to take you and your luggage to the terminal. After that, you will have to go through security, where they will get rid of your water bottle and shave gel with this large container. If you haven’t checked your heavy luggage, you’ll have to get on a plane about three miles away. Maybe there are vehicles at the airport, such as a tram or a walkway, or those electric carts with kamekazi drivers. Or if you had planned ahead, a wheelchair.
Separate the airport parking lot and exit the terminal without an airport parking collision.
Check your heavy luggage (including what you don’t want airport security to steal from you) to avoid closing around the airport.
Schedule an airline for an electric car or wheelchair.
During a recent trip to Washington, D.C., as a gift to my parents on my grandmother’s birthday, my wife’s caregiver packed all my belongings in one bag, which I thought would be easy to handle.
My son drove me to Boise Airport, and I found it a stroller on a Minneapolis flight. I read the board and entered the wrong terminal. Then I walked in a different direction until I dared to have a heart attack and had a good night’s sleep so I could get on the plane to the rest of the lemon.
After Einsteins’ theory of relativity, the moment I reached the gate weighed 8.3 tons.
It is an advantage for the elderly and children with children. If you hear the words, “You need to take a little extra time,” head for the gate.
I entered one of those electric cars in Minneapolis. The driver took me on a full tour of the airport, checking to see if there were any other riders who weren’t there before he finally got me to my gate.
On the way back to Salt Lake City, I checked the bag. Still, because SLC is not very friendly even for people walking, I was about to die when I got on a plane. The crowd looked at me and took me to my seat. When I got to Boise, there was a sweet young woman who was riding a wheelchair, ordering me to enter. I obliged.
I will now say that the airline that took care of this old man was Delta, and he was announcing in advance that he was crawling out of an SLC from an old scam plane in need of a wheelchair.
A young man took the luggage compartment with me and his second armchair, which he was able to adjust. I like people who know how to do things. My son met me in the trunk of a trunk and took me home to the cow town where we live.
You know the rest
Immediately after sitting early, you should witness the baggage claim, as people try to get their belongings out.
You better watch your head.
Now you have to wait for the people who are going to crawl on you to get to their places.
Then you can sit down and read the torn copy of the airline’s magazine. The puzzles are already finished or screwed on, so you have to keep track of how first-class people drink fine wine and eat steak.
The flight attendant will offer you headphones if you have a credit card to pay for it. He will give you a free drink, mostly ice in a glass-sized plastic glass, some pimples or cookies, and he will offer you to sell you a snack from that expensive magazine.
Well, at least you didn’t go down without explaining yourself first.
You can’t take water with you, but you can buy a new bottle in about 10 seconds after you harvest them. Take the water on the plane. Cool drinks do not moisturize you properly. I learned this from a ski teacher.
For fun, take a reader or some portable device. You may want to include headphones for your device.
Buy one of those neck pillows to add to your lack of comfort.
If your seat does not return, call a flight attendant. He will try to get it back. He will then receive a flight engineer to work on it. No one will be able to correct such a tortured thing.
If your device has a program, watch it fly over the ground while flying on your device.
If you are still young, become an executive of a large company that will allow you to get out of the lemon pen.
It’s the only way to fly, as long as it’s Tre Treolta, which has its 747.